Mind-Blowing Hidden Relationships You Never Noticed In Disney’s ‘Mary Poppins’!

12 Dec



With Mary Poppins Returns hitting theaters Dec. 19, I figured this was the perfect time to update and recirculate my (very well-supported and some-might-say-overly-well-documented-and-long) fan theory about the secret, hidden character connections in the original Mary Poppins

ALSO — After Emily Blunt was cast as Mary, Huffington Post asked her about my fan theory (which is weirdly exciting), and she said it was “a lovely notion” and “a very lovely possibility.” I kind of freaked out about how awesome that is.


On August 27, the Disney classic Mary Poppins turns 50! It’s the story of a magical nanny, two precocious children, a stern father with the capacity for love just beneath the surface, a socially progressive mother, and the most charming chimney sweep/kite salesman/one-man-band in history.

You know you love him.

You know you love him.

The film won 5 Oscars out of an astounding 13 nominations, and was the only Best Picture nomination Walt Disney ever received. Mary Poppins is also one of the rare films to have a 100% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Unlike these movies, which all have less than 100%

Unlike these movies, which all have less than 100%

Basically, it’s a great film and everyone loves it. However, despite all the times you’ve likely watched it, I have a theory that there were a number of hidden connections that you probably didn’t even realize!

Connections like:

1. Mary Poppins was Bert’s nanny!

2. Mr. Dawes Sr. – the Bank Owner – is Bert’s father

3. Uncle Albert is Bert’s Uncle

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‘Dancing With the Stars’ Season 27 Early Predictions!

24 Sep


With Season 27 of Dancing With the Stars kicking off tonight (and with me covering it for our live blog on ETOnline), I thought it would be fun to try to make some pre-premiere predictions for how this season’s slate of stars will fare in their race for the coveted Mirrorball trophy.

Here’s my take on who goes out first, who makes the final three and who wins the whole thing.

First Contestant Out: Nikki Glaser and partner Gleb Savchenko (Comedians always seem to drop out quickly (maybe because they don’t take it seriously, or get embarrassed, or don’t care?)

Final Three:
Juan Pablo Di Pace and Cheryl Burke (He’s a handsome actor with a background in musical theater, and she’s a returning fan favorite.)

Tinashe and Brandon Armstrong (Tinashe is already a professional dancer, and the closest to a ringer this season has. Plus, this is Armstrong’s first season as a pro and he likely wants to prove himself)

Mary Lou Retton and Sasha Farber (She’s a revered Olympic gold medal gymnast and Sasha is awesome and you can’t not love Sasha.)

Winner: Tinashe and Brandon Armstrong (I think her experience with a dance background will give her an edge that lasts all season, like when Jordan Fisher was the frontrunner right from the first episode of Season 25)

Rest of the Lineup:
2nd Place: Juan Pablo Di Pace and Cheryl Burke
3rd Place: Mary Lou Retton and Sasha Farber
4th Place: Danelle Umstead and Artem Chigvintsev
5th Place: DeMarcus Ware and Lindsay Arnold
6th Place: Evanna Lynch and Keo Motsepe (Keo usually gets saddled with stars who have no chance going in, so it’ll be interesting to see what he’s able to do with the 27-year-old Harry Potter actress)
7th Place: Nancy McKeon and Val Chmerkovskiy (Her Facts of Life nostalgia factor will take her a long way, as well as Val’s considerable fan base.)
8th Place: “Grocery Store Joe” Amabile and Jenna Johnson (Being a Bachelorette fan favorite will get him plenty of votes, especially if he can dance at all.)
9th Place: Bobby Bones Sharna Burgess
10th Place: Alexis Ren and Alan Bersten
11th Place: John Schneider and Emma Slater
12th Place: Milo Manheim and Witney Carson (He seems like a talented dancer, but having a fan base plays a huge role and he’s literally only be in one Disney channel movie.)
13th Place: Nikki Glaser and Gleb Savchenko

Obviously, there’s a good chance all of this will be wrong, but I’ll be watching all season to see how things turn out (and I may possibly update once we get to see the stars hit the dance floor for the first time.)

Down the Rabbit Hole: Examining the Life of One Totally Insane Internet Commenter Who Used His Real Name

4 Jan


The internet is a weird place.

There used to be a thing called “John Gabriel’s Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory” (courtesy of the great Penny Arcade) which was stated as a simple equation:

Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad

Remember that? Remember the days when “anonymity” was required? Now people are just Total Fuckwads by virtue of an audience — or even no audience at all, just the illusion of an audience.

And this, friends, brings us to the comment sections of websites where one is required (or even passively encouraged) to sign in with their Facebook account to leave a comment — which is almost invariably some sort of horrifying, homophobic garbage.

In the old days, that disgusting, bat-shit nonsense would be written by “DaKillaTruth99” or “anonymous” or “User34.”

Only now that insane, raving lunacy links back directly to the person’s Facebook page, with their real name for the world to see, and that’s okay with most people. It’s like they are so disconnected while on the Internet that they think there are no consequences for their public posts.

Let’s take a look at a comment shared on a story written in October, about Kim Kardashian saying she doesn’t like it when Khloe Kardashian talks to her ex-husband, Lamar Odom.

Now admittedly, the Kardashian family does seem to raise most people’s ire a little more than other topics of conversation (although I’d still strenuously argue that you could always just opt to NOT read a story about a family you’re not interested in knowing more about, but whatever), however can you really say that this comment would ever be justified?:

“Kim Kardashian west trash get the hell out of new York bitch cunt loser trash husband move from new York ugly ugly husband like kanye trash Kenye west losers go away from the country trash or ill have people kill you trash people family ill cut yourt neck like a black snake and make a jacket out of you and ugly kanye kim kardashian trash west trash your baby can die in hell the trash where it belongs trash baby this hoe must die in hell the trash kim kardashian her and her trash man.”

Note: I cut this comment a bit short, before he started going into a whole thing about how he hopes Kim Kardashian’s then-unborn baby dies inside of her, then gets her sick and she dies. It was somehow ten times more repulsive than what I actually present to you here.

Think about that for a second. Imagine yourself getting that mad about an article on the internet. Or about anything, ever, anywhere. Would even portion of that ever come out of your mouth?

The part that amazes me about this comment (aside from its truly groundbreaking steam-of-consciousness prose), is that the author signed in with his Facebook account, and his full, real name, to leave what is essentially the kind of thing you read off a crumpled note, covered in blood, left behind at a particularly heinous murder scene.

Now, I don’t believe in public shaming (and I legitimately think this person might be the craziest human being currently living in America who’s not behind bars, so he scares me a little), so I won’t reveal his full name – We’ll just refer to him Sam Shakepeare.

When I first read Sam’s comment, it shocked me with its vulgarity. Then I remembered where I was (the internet) and I remembered that this, in its own way, is par for the course. Maybe a little above (or below, I guess) par, but still nothing out of the ordinary in a comments section.

But I was baffled by the use of his full name. A cursory google search provided me a link to his facebook page, where I was again surprised to learn that this man – who, might I remind you, spends his days threatening to murder babies and celebrities — doesn’t have his Facebook page set to “Private.”

And he should. He really, really should.

You see, I learned a lot about Sam in the 10 or 15 minutes I spent doing very little searching on his profile. I found out where he currently works, I found out the contact information for his employer (which I half-wanted to call to let them know what kind of insane person works for them, but I figured they would have to already know). I found out where he lives, where he goes to school.

All of that is linked back to him writing, “Kim kardashian trash west trash your baby can die in hell the trash where it belongs.”

Going through his status updates, I learned more about Sam — who I weirdly grew to feel kind of bad for, actually.

First, he loves posting the same links to songs over and over. Eminem is one of his favorite artists, and I know this for two reasons:

A) He shared a link to the same Eminem song 12 times in two months (perhaps because he forgot he already shared it?)


I’m not real sure what that actually means, but it’s pretty clear he likes Eminem. (To be completely honest, when I first read this I absolutely thought he meant he likes to eat M&Ms while studying. But no, he didn’t mean that.)

Also, his rage issues seem to really boil up from time to time. He’d go long stretches with just calm, albeit somewhat indecipherable, status updates, before sharing:

“My family my dads sisters are not family they are Devils they go to concerts yet they complain they have no money get a life losers please help me god am going kill my self they make me so mad And worst they go out to eat everyday they tell me I can’t Am a man now how are they they tell me what I can and can’t do Am not A baby anymore am mature enough to make my own decisions On my own help me god”

Which he immediately followed up with, “Merry Christmas everybody wish you all the best everyone all the best,” a few hours later.

He also really, really, REALLY hates the Kardashian family.

“Kim ugly Kardashian west must die in hell burn in hell why she lives she must die”

“Kim, Kardashian hope your new York dash Stores burns in hell to the ground up your dash trash stores burns in hell the one in new York store as well burns with you in it as well burn it down to the ground all the Kardashian trash family gold diggers all of them trash”

“Technology is the better way to go then the ugly Kardashians trashy cloths”

To Sam’s credit, I have to agree with the sentiment that “technology” as a whole is, in fact, better than any of the Kardashians’ clothing lines. It’s hard to argue with that.

He also seems to have a problem with Mexicans — or at least that’s the best I could make from this status update — which, again, I stress is public for anyone to see.

“Americans are sick cowerds scard red necks fat asses druged up idiots bunch of losers how ever dose drugs I hope they burn in hell forever and all forever they make me sick some of the stupid Mexicans are all the same drug adics change the world is hard but the Mexicans are sick with there drugs and this world wants to do better with stupid drugs please you all are dum dum tards you make me sick how you supposed to change the worlds with this kind of acting good luck losers you won t change the world its trash already Americas edgeucation is ass low as it is cuss of drugs I say fuck the drugs make me sick id say burn them All”

Although I think the term “dum dum tards” is worthy of future consideration in our lexicon, and the irony of spelling “education” as “edgeucation” is just… wow. It’s almost too much to enjoy all at once.

However, more so than his bouts of rage-fueled vitriol, it think it’s his completely confounding, alsmot philosophical comments that really fascinate me. No hatred, no stuttering bile-spewing, just bizarre, individual thoughts.

“Disk making is cool and all but everything is going to be digital very soon but disks are cool.”

“Video games are the new Hollywood”

“Omg I just throw up I just barfed throw up threw up I don’t feel so good.”

And finally, I’m pretty sure he had some sort of romantic involvement with his cousin, which then turned sour and now he really FUCKING HATES his cousin. Like, a lot. (Note: I’ve changed the cousin’s name as well.)

“I hate my cusin [Allison] forever I don’t want to see her ever again wish she gose away leaves me and my sister alone little gold digger with her ugly new boy friend trash [Allison] is A Hoe and a Whore.”

I mean, why mention the gold digger thing? And why the anger over her “new boy friend”?

“Am the king of this castle and am gonna be treated with respect or am gonna burn everybodys nutts of and feed them to the sharks you know your damn role and shut your damn mouths”

That was back in late October. In December, Sam wrote:

“I Forever hate my cousin [Allison] what ever her last name is she is a bitch a whore and a hoe like Kim Kardashian trash loser like them I hate the Kardashians trash like I hate my Cousin”

Well, way to bring it all back around, Sam.

In the end, after examining this person’s Facebook for an extended period of time, I actually felt somewhat comforted.

While it’s still disturbing that the trend seems to be people caring less and less about their anonymity when spewing hateful garbage on the internet, it’s comforting to know that Sam Shakespeare — who I now know more about than some of my close friends — never fit into the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory in the first place.

Remember: Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad. Well, in no universe could Sam ever be considered a “normal person.” He’s just a crazy weirdo with a tiny little public platform. And somehow, that makes me feel better.

I’ll let Sam close us out with one of his own status updates:

“I don’t care if people love me or hate me for speaking the truth its just my opinion I cant change cuss I want to be smarter and learn more everyday love me or hate me I don’t care anymore.”

Amen, Sam. Amen.

8 Awesome Moments of Miniature Badassery From the New Ant-Man Trailer

14 Apr

The newest trailer for Marvel’s highly anticipated Ant-Man is here, and we finally get to see Paul Rudd kick some ass in miniature form!

With a lot more humor and action than the previous trailer, this awesome new promo also introduces us to a number of Ant-Man’s impressive powers and gives us a look at the film’s villain Yellowjacket — played by The Strain‘s Corey Stoll.

So what are Ant-Man’s powers? He can change size, he’s super strong (when he’s small), and he can control an army of ants. Also, when he gets bored he can make playing with children’s toys way more fun.

So let’s take a look at the eight most exciting miniature moments from the new Ant-Man trailer!

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Celebrity Showdown: Kate Winslet vs Cate Blanchett

22 Mar


This weekend, two of the most celebrated leading ladies in Hollywood, Kate Winslet and Cate Blanchett, went head-to-head as villains in their respective big budget blockbusters.

But how do the two Oscar winners stack up against one another? That’s what ET’s Celebrity Showdown is here to discover. Looking at seven unique criteria that weigh box-office earnings, critic’s reviews, and award season gold, Celebrity Showdown examines the anatomy of both stars’ careers to determine who’s really the best.

So who will win between the Cate “The Pretty Tolkien Elf” Blanchett and Kate “Seriously, I was in Titanic” Winslet? For fun, take a guess, then check out our totally scientific results.*

*Results not actually scientific.

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Celebrity Showdown: Hugh Jackman vs Liam Neeson

15 Mar


While two of Hollywood’s most popular action stars are duking it out in the box office, we thought it might be a good time for them to face off in the only thunderdome that really matters: The Celebrity Showdown.

Looking at seven unique criteria that weigh box-office earnings, critic’s reviews and award season gold, Celebrity Showdown examines the anatomy of both stars’ careers to show who’s really the best.

So, will Chappie star Hugh Jackman (beloved for his many, many turns playing Wolverine in the X-Men franchise) be able to take down action veteran Liam Neeson (best known for the many films in which he’s had to retrieve people who have been taken)? For fun, take a guess, then check out our totally scientific results.*

*Results not actually scientific.

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Celebrity Showdown: Will Smith vs. Kevin Costner

1 Mar


After disappearing from the screen for a few years, Will Smith and Kevin Costner have both been enjoying career resurgences recently. This year alone, Costner has already starred in two releases – Black or White and McFarland, USA – and Focus hit the big screen this weekend, marking Smith’s return to movies for the first time since the disastrous release of his 2013 sci-fi bomb After Earth.

So, with both stars in the middle of making powerful comebacks, and with films in theaters at the same time, what better way to see who the real star is than by pitting their careers against each other’s in a brand-new installment of Celebrity Showdown?!

Who do you think will win between Smith and Costner? For fun, take a guess, then check out our totally scientific results.*

*Results not actually scientific.

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Celebrity Showdown: Bradley Cooper vs. Colin Firth

16 Feb


With Bradley Cooper’s American Sniper sitting comfortably at fourth place at the box office after four weeks in wide release and eight weeks in theaters, it’s clear that his role as “the deadliest sniper in history” resonates with many people — but can he beat a British Oscar winner?

This weekend, audiences everywhere got to see Colin Firth kick major a** as a James Bond-esque super spy in the amazingly entertaining Kingsmen: The Secret Service. So which acclaimed actor would win in a fight between their acting careers? We’re here to get a definitive answer in another installment of Celebrity Showdown!

Who do you think will win between Cooper and Firth? For fun, take a guess, then check out our totally scientific results.*

*Results are not actually scientific.

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Anti-Valentine’s Day Cards For People You Hate

13 Feb


Valentine’s Day is a holiday for sharing your love with the people who have meant something in your life. But what about for the people who have only ever meant to cause you harm or annoyance?

What do you get for the person who drives you crazy on Valentine’s Day? How about these anti-VDay cards that will get your point across, as long as your point is, “You drive me so crazy, I can only express my rage in the form of hilariously terrible puns!”

Feel free to send these to the people who need them most this year.



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11 Weird Things You Notice When Binge Watching ‘Friends’

2 Feb


By Meredith Lee – Contributing Writer

On New Year’s Day, Friends finally became available on Netflix and fans everywhere rejoiced by not leaving their houses for a few days. They stayed in pajamas, drank pots of coffee and powered through eating unhealthy snacks in order to keep up momentum while binge watching every episode starring six fictional friends that fans know as well as they know their own. From those first moments when Rachel runs into Central Perk in her wedding dress after having left her fiancé at the altar to those final minutes when the gang leaves Monica and Chandler’s empty apartment behind to begin the next stage of their lives, not a second was wasted.


Yet through those binge watching moments, you start to pick up things. While you smile at the old-school telephones and VHS tapes, you start to notice plot holes and Matthew Perry’s drastic weight fluctuations. The time lapse between season six and season seven is really only supposed to be about an hour yet he looks about 20 pounds thinner from one episode to the next. Personalities also change drastically over time. People become less intelligent, they like to yell more and it somehow seems like they all become different people with no recollection of things that have happened in their lives.

 I shall now list those things because that is what people do to the things they love: try to ruin them for themselves and others… but in a fun way.

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