Tag Archives: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

The Totally Crazy Ways Hollywood Uses Fire To Sell Movies

13 Nov

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[NOTE: I originally wrote this story for ETonline.com, where it was first published]

In the newly released poster for Insurgent, we see a brave, stoic Shailene Woodley standing on top of a cube-shaped building which is on fire. It’s also floating in mid-air through the middle of a post-apocalyptic cityscape, but that’s beside the point.

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While admittedly the poster is a bit surreal, what really seems to set the tone is the blazing inferno raging beneath Woodley’s feet, pouring out of the windows.

It’s almost as if the poster designers were worried that the strange image of a warrior woman on a floating building wouldn’t be eye-catching enough. However, like sex and the color red, fire is used all the time by poster designers for a whole multitude of reasons – and with an equally large variety of insane results.

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Gaze Into The Face Of Total ‘Turtle’ Terror

5 Aug

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Look, I’m not here to tell you how good or bad the upcoming live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie is going to be – but, you know, probably bad.

I am here, however, to give you nightmares by showing you the true face of terror!

Paramount Pictures released these four banner posters, which have been popping up on billboards all over America like disgusting, gruesome pustules all over the bodies of anyone in a mid-’80s David Cronenberg movie.

The worst design flaw of the new TMNT characters are those godforsaken noses. Why do they need noses? Here are a few depictions of how the lovable turtles looked in past adaptations.

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